Wild-eyed in my misery. All around, black ink darkness.
Oh, the things we do for Sims.
Some meta intro: A bit of a rude awakening to load the game after more than two months, only to find that some items Stealie had stolen had disappeared. ?!?! They were the statue, toilet, and armchair from the Goth house. My first thought was that the swiping hadn’t been saved, but their original spots on the Goth lot are still empty, so the game must know we swiped them…Did we sell them by mistake? No, because we’d have a lot more money if we had (the Venus statue alone is close to $1,000, and the armchair and the toilet are also at least a few hundred each). Humph.
I loaded a previous save–the Goth goods were still there, but Stealie’s evening mooching wasn’t. Arrrgh. I opted to continue with this earlier save and redo the mooching, from the visit to the park to the mooching at the Frio house. Slight headache, but oh well. I’d rather we kept the Goth treasures and have to redo some mooching. Retrace our steps…
Any groundhogs here? Cos it’s your day.
Abe declined too. Gunther wasn’t there for us either.
Oof. Bit of a rocky start.
Anne Song was there this time, though, and she gave $23 and $84. Thanks for your sympathetic simoleons, Anne. We sure could use it.
Hank was feeling some compassion too. “I’ve heard of the plight of starving artists like you, Stealie. Here’s $151.” Whoo!
Frio brothers, don’t disappoint us.
In total, Connor gave $135 and $323, and Jared gave $195 and $38. One still worries for his child support recipients.
Surely that should be enough to start some remodeling.
“But I’m tired! I’m thirsty! I’m wild-eyed in my misery!”
You go to bed, Stealie. I’ll do the remodeling. Don’t let the hammering keep you up.
“Sorcerer! Show me the high life! Nighty night.”
In the morning, Stealie awoke in a different room.
Notice anything different, Stealie?
“Ohpp, someone’s calling me. Gotta take this.”
It was a call from Ethan Bunch; would Stealie like to go on a date?
Nope! We’re going to party instead to test out the new layout!
“I’m wild-eyed! In my misery! Yeah, yeah!”
Just repair it, quickly. Ohh, our precious mooching minutes…
Oh, hello, Susan. Just barge in, won’t you?
You’re looking lovely…
…In the other room, please. Why do you have to congregate in the room we haven’t remodeled yet?
Stealie finally finished the repair and went to greet the guests:
“Christopher! It’s been a while.”
Of course, Stealie pocketed the $78.
Stealie looked over the room for more big spenders:
“It’s no use, Stealie. You mooched from me only a few hours ago, so the game won’t let you mooch from me until tomorrow.”
Oh. Right. I suppose that goes for your brother too then…who, incidentally, doesn’t seem very happy to be at this party.
“Susan, where did you get your shoes? I’ve been admiring your costume today.”
“Ohh, this? My dear, it is my costume for tonight’s rehearsal. We’re putting on a production for the Shakespeare festival, and I’m the star.”
“How nice…Romeo and Juliet?”
“Hey, Jared, don’t you think the house is looking pretty spiffy now?”
“Yeah, Chris. If it weren’t for all the bugs and glitches that got in the way of the remodel! Remember that one gameplay session where the ground paints stopped working so they couldn’t recolor the garden?”
“And that time that WordPress ate the draft that had all the info about all the money we gave to Stealie? And the vanishing Goth items. So many snafus!”
“…Maybe we should lay off the local seafood.”
But you know, Chris, Jared’s right. There were so many false starts and little panic attacks before we got this entry done!
Perhaps because of all the time that Stealie had to spend fixing the shower instead of mooching, we couldn’t gather any more money. The guests left quite quickly.
But Holly seems to be sticking around.
It’s four o’ clock! Time for another Yakkin’ with Stealie and the Thermidors. Today’s guest: Holly Alto!
Wait, what the…I happened to zoom out and found a strange child by the door.
…Can we help you?
…Yeah, go right ahead, kid. Help yourself to some thermidor. God knows what’s in the local waters.
“Shh! Joke’s on him! It’s vegetarian lobster thermidor!”
How does that even…oh, never mind.
Holly started dancing. “Hey, lemme show you this new dance they have on TV now. It’s the smuttiest thing eva!”
The kid objected. “I don’t need to learn this stuff till I’m older!”
Nonetheless, Holly started dancing.
Stealie and her staring, again:
No need to make this even creepier than it already was! As Holly danced, Stealie began to mooch money from her. Huh? If anything, shouldn’t the dancer be the one getting paid?
“No no, Holly’s paying me to critique her dance moves! See? $149 for the lesson, and $39 for the studio fee.”
Excuse me. Are we in an episode of Twin Peaks or something? We’ve got the midget, blonde lady in black dress, music, red sofa… all we need is that famous red curtain. Oh hang on…
…And I seem to recall there was a female statue in the background…
…Oh, and the room was a lot darker…
HAHAHHAHA! Perfect. Our very own Red Room.
Ok, for fear of losing all the readers who aren’t familiar with Twin Peaks, let’s go back now to the Klepto challenge.
the Little Man Sam Sekemoto.
“Lady, whoever’s running this show is sick! I have…no idea…what’s…going on!”
“Your voice sounds strange. Your lines sound as though they were recorded backwards…”
Uh-huh. Well, it’s almost seven o’ clock, so Stealie must be off now.
Oh, the thrill of the swiping hour! How I’ve missed thee!
We rushed across the road to the Purnell house, where one of the flamingo sentries had fallen. Don’t look at us; we didn’t do anything to it:
“How have you been, Hayley? You’ll be glad to know we’ve remodeled our house, so you don’t have to grimace anymore when you come over–”
Is that…Malcolm Landgraab? What’s he doing here all alone with Hayley? Ah, well, none of my business what you Sims get up to, really.
We must get on with our business, though:
“Oh noo, the bulb’s gone out. How many Kleptos does it take to change a lightbulb?”
That light hasn’t gone out yet, Stealie.
“Shh! It will have when it’s in my pocket! And stay quiet while I clean up this area.”
It looks already pretty clean to me, Stealie.
…But don’t let me stop you.
She felt like scoping out the house a little more before using up the third swipe, so we returned to the living room.
Hayley was starving, but Stealie had something urgent to ask her:
“Hey, Hayley, do you know any good computer-related jokes?”
“Uhh, uhh, I bought the Sims 4 the other day. What a joke!”
“Oh, really? I haven’t tried it, because it’s too expensive.”
“Here, I’m giving you $79. That should cover it.”
“Wow. That is an expensive game. Can you give me more for the inevitable expansion packs and DLC?”
“Are you kidding me? I spent all my retirement savings just to cover the base game! Now leave me alone to finish my salad.”
And so we turned to Malcolm, the first member of the Landgraab family that Stealie has met. Here he is looking a little bit like Leo Johnson…
…but enough of the Twin Peaks connections. Time to make some real, potentially lucrative connections:
“Hello, Malcolm. I’m Stealie.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“Have you heard all the excitement about the new Sims game?”
“Ugh, I’m waaay behind on that. I just found out about the forum move! It took me ages to set up my account on the new site. Plus I need to get some more points.”
“Hmm. If you give me the money, I can send you the points.”
Landgrabbingly rich scion that he is, Malcolm gave us $34.
He was also very, very hungry.
Hayley and Malcolm both sat down to some dinner. We used this opportunity to look around. The only other room in this house is the bathroom, and it’s not as we need more toilets and showers. There was also the yard, but the flamingoes didn’t appeal. And so Stealie decided to sneak back to the bedroom.
Aww, another one??
“Yes, the room doesn’t look balanced because I already took the other one. I love symmetry; don’t you?”
Stealie swiped the lamp.
We exited the bedroom of darkness and left Malc and Hayley to finish their dinner.
head to park. hey, iqbal alvi! introduction. It surprises me that we hadn’t yet met some key people in this town.
He was muttering something as Stealie approached. “Ohh, if only I hadn’t signed that contract…Ohh, black ink darkness…”
Iqbal declined both mooch attempts–which is understandable. The Alvis are famously the poorest household in Sunset Valley.
“I heard Iqbal dabbled in some toxic funds or something. He must’ve lost a great deal of money, judging from his family’s current financial troubles. He keeps wailing about his mortgage.”
…but that doesn’t excuse them from a home visit, does it?
Stealie schemed outside.
I don’t know what you expect to find inside, Stealie, but don’t get your hopes up.
Miraj Alvi answered. I didn’t quite recognize him, as he is a child when Sunset Valley first loads. Here he is grown up into a teen, the solitary guard fending off any possible intruders who might steal the Alvi fortunes:
“Ten SimPoints for only $149! Count me in, Stealie!”
Silly little Miraj. Just look at these slippers:
Note to self: We should probably do a Mirage reference with Miraj at some point. But for now, let’s leave the poor boy alone.
Moving on to swiping. Venturing into a dark, dark bedroom, Stealie swiped a Dancing Bunny poster and a barstool. One thing the Alvis cannot afford is lighting, which is why none of our evidentiary screenshots really came out. Which made me think…Ermm…Swiping from the poorest family in town. You don’t feel bad about this, Stealie?
“What, Miraj just gave us $149 without blinking! They can’t be that badly off. Look at all this junk they can afford to leave lying in their yard!”
“But maybe I do feel a little bad about this.”
“After all, we do already have a barbeque grill at home. A much nicer one.”
“Yeah, I probably should’ve gone for the dishwasher instead. What was I thinking?”
It’s all right, Stealie. At least the sink still works and has a nice view. We can think of more luxurious things later.