Between expanding her collection and exploring more dumpsters, Stealie visits the Bachelor family.
Our front yard may look decent, but our cash situation isn’t that healthy. The bills are always at least $60, or about 10% of what we have in the bank. Bills are no fun, both in the Sims and in real life. Stealie tries to console herself by pretending she’s some rock diva signing some autographs:Once the sun rose, we called our only friend Agnes to invite her out to the park. For some reason, Agnes showed up at the house first—driving a Sloppy Jalopy, the cheapest car in the game.
Stealie gasps, “Oh, Agnes! Whatever happened to your car?”
Stealie answers, “I could do a palm reading for you and see. But you’ll have to cross it with
silver simoleons. A large amount of simoleons.”
“Wait a minute, you didn’t look at my hand!”
“I don’t have to. I have 20/20 crystal vision.”
“Say, would you like to move in with me? You could be my life coach!” In the game, Agnes really did invite Stealie to move in. But we declined graciously, as we have a challenge to finish. “That’s quite all right. No hard feelings,” Agnes said as she handed us another $4.
“Hey I have a cool idea! Let’s go to the diner!”
Said diner has a dumpster area, to which Stealie made a beeline:
Look at poor Agnes looking on. She probably wants a shake or something. “There’s probably some in here,” Stealie mumbles as she shrugs and dives in again. What a classy friend.
(Incidentally, this may be the first time I’ve seen Stealie’s shoes.)
Agnes had no reason to fear for lack of company. Fiona McIrish comes over and chats with Agnes. “So, how ’bout this Obamacare thing? What’s up with that? I think it’s a stinker of a policy!”
Oh dear. Fiona, don’t you know politics can be a conversational minefield? A journalist of all people. Or are you intentionally trying to rustle up some controversy? Agnes huffs, “You may very well think that. I couldn’t possibly comment.”
Stealie is unaffected. She has a new rug and a lamp to add to her assets.
Soon it is time for Stealie to get ready for the evening, so they both head back to the house. Stealie tries her best to wash off the eau de dumpster while Agnes admires the lovely garden. (In the left background you can see the house that we shall visit later this evening.)
Even the statue isn’t enough to hold Agnes’ interest for long. Perhaps Fiona’s comments earlier took a heavier toll on her energies than we’d thought. In any case, Agnes soon troddles off:
And that leaves us free to call on the Bachelor house. Contrary to what you might expect, there are no eligible gentlemen in this house; just plain ol’ family man Simis, who comes out to greet Stealie.
Stealie seems to have a bad feeling about this…
Oh don’t worry; the game’s not that detailed. That or Hank’s a crooked cop. He turns a blind eye. In fact, he doesn’t even look at us as we enter. How about a little hello? No matter, as Simis has a surefire way of entertaining all his houseguests. Yup, you guessed it: pillowfight!
But why must it be in the bathroom?
Every time the Sims pillowfight, it looks like a scene from a murder mystery. Or have I just revealed something about my dark, morbid state of mind?
Anyway, the head trauma from the feathery, downy impacts shocked us into remembering that we’d already reached our three-swipe limit early that morning. But there’s still mooching. Good old mooching.
“You just assaulted me in the bathroom! What were you thinking? I’ll see you in court, Mr. Bachelor. You’ll be hearing from my attorney.”
“What? No! I’m just a hungry, respectable, hungry family man! Please, not a word to my family. Here, take this.” He thrust $5 into Stealie’s outstretched hand. Pfft, Simis, you think you can buy our silence with $5?
“You…disappoint me, Mr. Bachelor.”
“…May I go back to my sandwich now?”
May I just take this moment to break the fourth wall and gloat at what a decent job I did with the Sim modeling here? Made with no custom content and only with the in-game options, that face is quite a passable caricature of the real Ms. Nicks! Or perhaps I’ve just forgotten what the real one looks like…Ahem. Back to our story.
Meet the Bachelor kids. I think the little one, Bella, is on to us as she keeps hovering and looking nervously around at all the things we would be stealing if we weren’t out of our three swipes. But her older brother seems not so alert.We are tactful enough to ask their mother to a private room before we bring up the M-word.“I know this is rather delicate, Jocasta. But your husband assaulted me in the bathroom. Do you think I should go talk to Hank the policeman?” Jocasta Bachelor has a bit more sense than her husband. She has upped the silence money by $11.
But that’s still not enough! Jeez, what does a lady have to do around here to get her rightful compensation? Stealie: “It’s been a bit of a shocking evening. I need to go off and gather myself. Please excuse me.”
Stealie gathered enough of herself to notice that the clock had struck midnight. We all know what that means. A new day, and three new swipe wishes. What will we wish for?
“Bathtubs, they will cooome and they will go-oooo—”
“…When the rain washes you clean, you’ll knoooow~”
Stealie also grabbed a wall lamp from the living room, then got kicked out. Perhaps our singing in the bathroom gave us away. Aww! One item short for the night. Since we were booted out, we could not harvest the Bachelors’ garden either. Shucks.
This got Stealie so down that we decided to visit a more distant place on the edge of town.
Rumors Rumours told us that the military base has some aircraft for the taking. Perhaps we could commandeer it and move away from this lousy, miserly town. There it is in the darkness:
Daww! What are we going to do with a flagpole, Stealie? Stab people with it? On the other hand it would make the house more…stately? (Say rapidly three times: Stoked at staking Stealie’s stolen stately flagpole.) In any case, flagpole makes three, the three items acquired tonight. Let’s go home. You can sing all you want in your new bathroom: